南男北女?

Recently I've (for reasons unknown even to me) been studying a lot of Korean proverbs and metaphors. Knowning and using them correctly (like slang and profanity) make Koreans think I know much more Korean than I actually do, so I guess that was my motivation for learning such things. Anyhow one of the expressions I learned was "남남북녀 (南男北女 / nam nam buk nyeo)." This literally means, "South Men, North Women." Say what? What this expression is claiming is that in regards to Korea, handsome, good looking men hail from the south, where the babes dwell in the north. After the Korean War a clear division between North and South developed (technically that division was formed after World War II, but this is not a history lesson today), and stayed that way up through present, at which point Wyatt using a digital camera, the internet, and sarcasm presents this study on the truth of this expression.
I have lived in South Korea for about a year and a half now. In this time I have seen a lot of South Koreans, and though my exposure to North Koreans has been limited to the politicians and crappy North Korean dramas and news programs South Korean channels show from time to time, I have seen my fair share of North Koreans as well. After seeing these people, I began to question the validity of this proverb. So I disected it. I put that proverb up on a table and took it's guts out. I studied this guts, but them back in and stiched that bad boy up again. I first examined the "남남" part of the expression. Handsome men hail from the south. This part of the expression does ring true. I offer exibit A: Kim Jong-il (김정일) vs. South Korean President Roh Mu Hyun (노무현).


Nice Kid n' Play razor lines there Dear Leader...


President Roh (Right)

Neither guy is Brad Pitt, and inspite of the fact the our buddy "Dear Leader" oozes with style, looking only at the body, President Roh wins hands down. That's still not enough evidence? Scroll up and examine the Kim Jong-il picture once more. Do you see those guys with him? They are North Korea's number one singing group. Compare that with the sexiness that is 동방신기 (東方神起 / Dong Bang Shin Gi).


South Korea's top boy band, 동방신기 (東方神起 / Dong Bang Shin Gi).

Damn! Those 동방신기 (東方神起 / Dong Bang Shin Gi) fellows are a lot better looking than their Northern breathern. Based on these two clinical tests I will say that yes it is true that Korean men in the south are more handsome then those hailing from the North.
Next I examined the second part of the expression, "북녀." I've seen a lot of Korean ladies, and would have to say for the most part they are the best looking ladies on the planet, but I digress. I have seen Korean ladies both North and South and would have to say that I find the notion that ladies in the North are better looking to be ludacris. Examine exibit B if you will. Let's compare and contrast something beninge like evening news anchorwomen.


The sexy North Korean reporter.


South Korea's evening newswoman.

Alright, no question about it the North Korean reporter is hot, but when compared to the South Korean woman, there's no contest. And just look at the stuff they are talking about...oh wait you can't see that. Well, the North Korean was telling us how Kim Jong-il was totally awesome on the day of the report, the South Korean is telling us about viagra...she's pretty and wants men to know about the wonders of viagra. Like above, it's not fair to make broad sweeping generalizations based on one person...so I'll do it based on two. For our next point of comparison, I bring you two female celebrities.


An actress from some show about acrobats (North Korean). The opening credits did not list a name, so I have no idea who she is.


And representing South Korea, the always sexy 이효리 (Lee Hyori).

This one is actually a little harder to call. The North Korean actress is not hideous, but she lacks one thing that Hyori has...curves! Additionally it's hard to be beautiful while wearing a rediculous unitard with sequins on it. Furthermore, while this woman may be decent, she does not represent the bulk of North Koreans. In that wacky world north of the 38th parallel, celebrities, and soilders station at the DMZ are the best fed, best looking people the country has to offer.
On the flipside, South Korea ranks 15th in the world in plastic surgeries, while the North ranks no where. So bottom line is we can probably toss this one out, but that's not to say the those in the North are better looking. Far from it! It's hard to be good looking when you are eating bark, or toiling in a labor camp because you sneezed while looking at a picture of Kim Il-sung. Therefore it is with great pride that I present unto you my new and improved Korean proverb! 남남남녀 (南男南女 / nam nam nam nyeo).

And to prove that not all North Korean women are chunky 아줌마s...

If I were somehow in the North, and met this lady I'd probably bust out something like, "김일성의 서거로 인류는 전설적영응 위대한 수령을 잃었습니다 (With the death of Comrade Kim Il-sung, mankind lost the legendary hero, 'Great Leader,')" which seems like the closest thing to a pick-up line North Korea has to offer, at which point I'd end up in a gulag somewhere harvesting coal or chopping down trees.