How To Be A Good Citizen On The Subway

The subway is a great way to get around the city, but a lot of people who use the subway are unaware of others. So as a service to the people of Seoul I give you this informative guide on how to be a good citizen on the subway.

Rule 1: Wait For Disembarking Passangers
Getting off a subway car can be one of the most annoying aspects of living in Seoul, especially during high traffic times. Someone outside the train is always in such a rush to get on the train that they attempt to push their way through those passengers getting off the train. This behavior is actually counter productive as it increases the overall disembarkment / boarding time. So please, let people off first and then get on the train.

Rule 2: Don't Jump The Queue (What Am I British?)
Some people are in such a rush to get on a train that they can't stand waiting in line. These people like to partake in what is known as queue-jumping. While there are two lines on the left and right hand side on each subway car door, these queue jumpers will create additional lines next to the existing lines. When the train arrives they will jostle their way so they are on the train before anyone elese. To this people I say wait your turn. If you got to the station after five people it means that five people are getting on the train before you.

Rule 3: Seven People Per Seat
Seats on subways in Seoul fit a seven people...not eight. I cannot tell you how many 아주마 (ajummas) have attempted to wedge on an already full seat. This is annoying behavior. If you are not old, pregnant, or infirmed you can wait until there is an empty seat.

Rule 4: If You're Gonna Sleep, Sleep Over There
I have no problem if people sleep on the subway, but don't be leaning all over me or other passengers you don't know. If your neck can't support the weight of your skull don't sleep on the subway.

Rule 5: The Subway Is Not A Toilet
I don't want to think about it but I can not tell you how many times I've seen people urinate on the subway, both drunken men and small children. The drunken men usually wet themselves, the children (usually boys) are often pantsed by their mothers and given assistance to piss into an empty drink bottle. People come on now! You are not in a toilet! Men if you are so drunk that you might wet yourself, take a taxi...and moms, if your kid can't hold a piss in for the two minutes between stations, the kid has no business being out of diapers.

Rule 6: Don't Do The Korean Man Subway Leg Spread™

This kind of ties in to Rule 3. Similar to the ajummas that think 8 people can fit on the seat there are men who are under the impression that they warrent a seat and a half in which to lounge about or fully open up newspapers. Hey buddy this is not your living room, don't act like it is.

Rule 7: Be Aware Of Other People's Space
The subways can get extremely crowded, so it helps to be considerate of other people's area. Don't grope anyone while the subway is crowded, or attempt to open a newspaper, and for God sake use deodorant. Maybe it's just me, but riding around on a train with someone's stinky armpit in my face isn't really my idea of a good time.

I think if people can follow these simple rules the subway trip will be a lot more enjoyable for everyone involved.