"사과, 오렌지, 바나나." "야! 아구창 닥쳐!"

This morning at 7:00am I was roused from my slumber by a shrill voice yelling about produce over a crappy sound system. Yes my friends it was the Produce Man! For those of you outside Korea, the Produce Man is a guy who drives around in a truck yelling about the goods he has for sale. For my suburban American audience he's a lot like the ice cream man.

There are a couple subtle differences between the produce man and the ice cream man. First, and most obvious, are the goods they deal in. The ice cream man sells delicious frozen snacks while the produce man sells fruits, vegetables, or fruits and vegetables. Secondly while the ice cream man is content to let "Maple Left Rag," or "The Entertainer," alert people to his presence, the produce man relies on a tape loop that reads of the goods he is selling like a robot: 사과. 오렌지. 바나나. It would be like the ice cream man driving around blasting a tape that was like, "ICE CREAM SANDWICH. FUDGE POP. ROCKET POP," in the most robotic voice possible. The third difference, and this is where my problem arises from. The ice cream man never hits the streets before noon, the produce man is ready to rock at the crack of dawn. For crying out loud produce man it's Saturday morning, let me sleep...bastard.


Up yours fruit / vegetable man!

*Editor's Note: "아구창 닥쳐!" is a very rude expression. 아구 is a fish with a huge gapping mouth, therefore 아구창 is a derogatory term for a mouth. 닥쳐! is like "Shut the hell / fuck up," so this expression all together is like, "Shut that fuckin' hole in your face!" Be forewarned.