Star Wars Review That Has Very Little To Do With Star Wars

Episode III (in Korean)

Last night I was finally able to check out Star Wars Episode III, but in the adventure that was last night / this morning, the review of Star Wars is going to be but a footnote. Get comfortable, it's going to be a long night.

The night began at roughly 8:15 when I met up with Nathan and his compatriot Ian. Since the movie didn't start until 10:45, we had plenty of time to kill, so we headed over to a restaraunt and ordered up some 돼지갈비. The meal was delicious and the conversation was good.

After dinner we met up with Shaun and attempted to get a block of four seats together, but the best we could do was two and two. After much shenanigans at the ticket counter we hung around outside the theater shooting the shit up until film time. At approximately 10:45 we entered the theater, there were a couple of previews, and then it was Star Wars time!

As soon as the 20th Century Fix logo hit the screen there was applause. It wasn't like a standing ovation, but that kind of akward half-assed two people clapping, like you might hear after a shitty poet finishes a reading at the local coffee shop's poetry slam night. As for the movie itself, it was the easily the best film in the recent trilogy.

Sure a lot of the dialogue was pretty cornball, but that's par for course when it comes to Star Wars movie. Additionally there were some scenes in the flick seemed a little forced. For example the inclussion of the wookies...in particular the Chewbacca cameo that Yoda had to announce as if we couldn't see a fucking 7' hairy cultural icon standing there.

Perhaps the scene that I thought was the most whack (whackest?) was the seen in which Senator Palpatine declares himself "Emperor of the Universe," to a huge round of applause. I'm from America, and I have a hard time imagining Bush standing infront of Congress and just being like, "Fuck all y'all, I'm running the whole show from this day forward!" and being met by wide spread aplause, but that's just me.

In all I thought the movie was pretty outstanding. I liked the way George Lucas tied up all the ends, and for the most part where able to tie it into the original trilogy. It was kind of awesome to see vechicles and clone troops that clearly begot the vechiles and strom troopers in the original, and to see that white 1970's space ship (the one Episode IV begins upon) was pretty awesome, though it is unknown to me why Obi-wan Kenobi doesn't recognize the droids in Episode IV since he was interacting with them for years and years prior to that film. As a student of East Asian studies, it was also interesting for me to learn how much the way of the Jedi and Buddhism had in common. At one point in the film Yoda is conversing with Anakin Skywalker and explains to him that "desire leads to suffering." Ah Yoda (George Lucas) I see you've been looking into the Four Noble Truths lately. Anyhow for a much more detailed, well thought out review of the movie check out Nathan's review.

After the film, Ian headed out to meet some other friends, so Nathan, Shaun, and I ventured out to which is the only bar named after a Commadore 64 game I know of, Oregon Trail. At the bar we drank some brews and commiserated about life in Korea. This was nice for since at my place of employment I am the only foreigner, so I don't really get a lot of oppertunity to air greivences or talk with other people living the same kind of experiences as I am. The night was also a little odd since it was the first time in a long time that I was the best Korean speaker in the group I was out on the town with, but I digress.


The best bar based upon a Commadore 64 / Apple II computer game.

Somewhere around 2 am, Nathan called it a night and headed back home. Shaun and I decided to head out to Hongdae for more random adventures. So after what would have to be the longest possible land route between Shinchon and Hongdae, we arrived, and for some reason, ventured into a hip-hop club. Unfortunately (for Shaun more than me), the place was a total sausage party...I mean there were a couple ladies, but nothing to write home about. After getting our "dance" on (by the way Korea what was up with playing "Jump Around?" What year is this 1992?) we rolled out of the club, the name of which escapes me, and headed out to a small playground that exists in Hongdae.

In spite of the fact that it was after 4:00 am, the playground was crowded with people, all in various states of drunkeness. I sat down on a swing next to a Korean punk guy, who struck up conversation with me. He, Shaun, and I had a fairly lengthy conversation, in which I surprised myself with my ability to speak Korean for 15 or 20 minutes straight (without needing English). During our coversation another Korean punk guy came over. He asked me what bands I liked, and in my rattling off of various bands, I named the band he was in, Popstore. So he was surprised that I knew of his band and we struck up conversation. And oh what a conversation it was!

We talked until the sun came up and the punks and drunks were replaced by Korean grandparents collecting empty bottles and cleaning up garbage. Shaun, Domino (the singer from Popstore), and I covered huge ammounts of territory in our conversation. We talked about rock and roll, the presence of open container laws in Canada and the States, the trend in Korea to get circumsized in adulthood, the flaw in Korean reunification (due to the language differences that exist now), and how "Korean girls are strange." He also gave me advice on how to win over a girl's parents.

Sitting in this park in the early dawn hours, aside from providing some great conversations I would never imagine myself having, also allowed for some outstanding people watching opportunities. Two of the best things I saw involved the afore mentioned swing set. At one point, a pair of Korean dudes were sitting on the swings. Some drunk, balding, and in my opinion a tad insane foreigner moseyed up, pused one of the guys off the swing, sat down, and swung for about 30 seconds, almost fell off the swing twice, got off, and walked away. Later, at 5:30 in the morning a grandmother appeared with a small boy who rode the swing for five minutes or so before they also left the park.


Day breaks and it's time to head home, but not before I "FUCK JAPS."

Anyhow I returned home at 7:00 in the morning, but due to the fact that I had to meet someone at 10:00 couldn't very well go to sleep. So now with this report all filed, I'm going to finally get some much needed rest.

Shaun's version of this event can be found here. Thankfully the two versions are fairly similar (no reports of me doing anything outrageous that I forgot about).